{ Oil Pastels & Super Sleuth }

I had purchased some art paper and a pack of Crayola oil pastels and hid them with the intention of taking them out on a rainy summer day for my daughter to enjoy. However, it seems I am not always good at hiding things because she "found" them.

"Mom, I saw a box of oil pastels and paper under the guest bed. Did you get those for me?" 

How is it when I actually NEED her to find something, such as her one missing white church shoe or her reading log, the task seems impossible? But, any other time, she is a regular Nancy Drew.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Earthworm Rescue & Menacing Fairies }

After spending a very rainy day at home doing crafty stuff with my daughter, I was looking forward to going to workout and having some "me time". My husband left work and called saying he was stuck in traffic due to bad weather and would not make it in time for me to leave on my own. So, I tell my daughter to get her shoes on b/c she has to come with me and wait in the kid section while I workout. We hop in Tahoe, put our seatbelts on and ............it won't start (insert frustration here). I call my husband and tell him about my predicament. He assumes it is the battery. Nevertheless, looks like I will not make it to my heart pumping/calorie burning class. I casually joke that perhaps God does not want me to leave the house in this horrible weather. Fast forward10 minutes later-----My daughter notices about a dozen earthworms on our lanai (Florida's fancy word for screened-in back porch---everyone here calls it a lanai. If I say "screened-in back porch", I get weird looks, so a lanai it is). The earthworms came out with all the rain and decided to crawl up under our screen door into our lanai. So we go out there and rescue them with our bare hands and place them back into the grass. My daughter whispers to me while trying to catch an especially wiggly earthworm, "Mom, I think fairies must have fiddled with your car and that is why we are still here because they wanted us to rescue the earthworms instead of you going to workout."

Ummmmm, yes, that is exactly what happened. I'm sure of it. Thanks, fairies. Thanks A LOT!

 

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Scooby Doo Spanglish }

While at the beach:
"Mom, I think the ocean is muy grande."

"Oh wow. I am so glad you are putting what you're learning in Spanish class to good use."

"Mom! I didn't learn THAT in Spanish Class from Senora Pardo. (rolls her eyes) I learned it from the Scooby Doo Monster of Mexico cartoon."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Mean Mean Mommy }

"Honey, Be sure to use mouthwash after you brush your teeth."

"But, Mommm! I can stand the new mouthwash!"

"I got you a kid one. Bubble Gum flavor. It's pink. Why don't you like it?"

"It's the grossest thing ever. It doesn't taste like bubble gum at all. It taste like rotten bubble gum. It's soooooo gross!!!" (Note: It does NOT taste like rotten bubble gum. It taste like bubble gum medicine. I tried it.)

"You need to use mouthwash. It's not a choice. You can either use the one I got you or you can use Mommy's and Daddy's. It doesn't have any alcohol in it, so it'll be fine for you to try." (The entire time I am telling her this, she is making dramatic fake gagging and dry heave motions with her throat, face, and whole body...and yet she refuses to try out for a role in the class play.)

(with slow moves, quivering and whimpering, as if she is about to get a whopper of a flu shot, she takes a sip of our mouthwash and swishes it around in her mouth and then violently spits it into the sink) "That is HORRIBLE!!!!! Agh! It burns my tongue! It burns! It burns!" (Like a vampire who just ate garlic)

"Look at it this way; If you keep using that one, then soon you will be able to enjoy the spicy salsa when we go to Mexican restaurants."

"That's not funny, Mom." (She starts giggling at my salsa/mouthwash correlation, then stops, and goes back to rolling her eyes to demonstrate just how un-funny I am)

"Okay, I will go look for a milder one for kids. I will check the organic store and see what I find. I'll either go sometime this week or next week. BUT, until then, you'll just have to use the bubble gum mouthwash even if you don't like the way it tastes." (She sulks and makes more fake gagging noises)

----- Fast forward a few hours to when my husband gets home from work and walks in the door---- with a PLEASE SAVE ME NOW tone she says,  "Guess what, Daddy? Mom said she is going to make me use the gross mouthwash forrrreverrrr." 

Sealed with a minty fresh Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Mustard Seed Faith }

A little conversation between my daughter and I while I was spreading mustard on a sandwich----

"Mom, where does mustard come from?"

"It comes from tiny yellow flowers which has tiny little seeds."

"Mustard seed is mentioned in the bible."

"That's right. If you have the Faith of a Mustard Seed, then you can move a what?"

"A Mountain!"

"Exactly."

"And nothing is impossible unto you."

Every week at my daughter's school, as part of the curriculum, the students are required to learn and memorize a bible verse. She has been doing this since Kindergarten. She is now in 3rd grade. She learned this one, Matthew 17:20 last year. Sometimes, (I say this w/ guilt) it can become tedious helping her memorize the weekly bible verse...especially 4 years of doing so. But, moments like this make it all worth while.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Of course, it's fake chicken, Honey }

About 2 yrs ago, Saylor said she wanted to be a vegetarian (except for seafood). Typical for my daughter, but, shocking to me. Being a mom from the great COUNTRY of Texas (6th generation Texan) aka the land of Cattle, Angus, and King Cotton....did I mention the Land of Cattle..., I was concerned I brought home the wrong baby from the hospital. How could my little Texan wanna be a vegetarian? I wonder if moving to Florida has anything to do with this hifalutin' idea of hers?
I told her don't worry, the meat I buy is fake (Not true. Not true at all). Two years ago, she was younger and, therefore, more gullible. I was able to get away with little white lies. As she gets older, it isn't as easy. But, I still try.

Fast forward 2 years to the present day----- I made a well seasoned roast chicken today(house smells GREAT!) When I pulled it out of the oven, Saylor asked, "Are you absolutely sure that's a fake chicken?"
"The fakest money can buy!" I replied.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten
S.W.A.K.

{ Join the Butterfly Movement }

Upon returning home from school this afternoon, Saylor goes into her room to change out of school clothes. She comes out crying.

Thinking she hurt herself,  I alarmingly ask, "Oh No, What happened?" and she says, through a blubbery fit of sobs, "I just don't understand why billions of butterflies all over the world have to die in the name of science just so they can be pinned up in frames. There are some even dying RIGHT NOW (insert extreme flood of tears here)!"

I told her I understood why that would make her sad and I tried to lie saying scientists only use the ones that are already dead. She knew better than to believe that and wailed, "You're just saying that even though it's NOT TRUE!"

 I reminded her how much she loved science and she agreed science is still her absolute favorite.
However, she said she is also gonna join a group that stops the killing of butterflies. She concluded, "I still want to be a scientist when I grow up..... and a fashion designer."

After a long day, my husband, daughter, and I sit down to enjoy dinner. He and I are both in that, "Ahhh, feels good to sit down and enjoy a nice meal" zen-like moment when Saylor looks at my husband seriously from her place at the dinner table and states slowly, "Did you know that at this very moment, Butterflies are dying all over the world? And guess what, Daddy? I'm gonna find a group for me to join that saves butterflies!!!! We are going to be like butterfly rebels and I will yell things like, "Save the Butterflies!" 

I don't doubt this one bit. My daughter has the biggest heart and the spirit of an activist.

 I think my daughter can single handedly revitalize the hippy movement. However, a bath before bedtime will be a MUST!

Sealed with Peace, Love, Harmony, and a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{ Banana Split Bummer }

Yesterday, Saylor had a banana split. I JOKED I would pack one in her lunch kit for school. This morning she opened her lunch kit & asked w/ extreme disappointment, "Where is my banana split?" Her expression of utter disappointment and shock broke my heart. I explained that I was kidding yesterday about putting a banana split in her lunch kit and she, with total sadness on her face, said she was planning on sticking her lunch kit in the school freezer to keep her banana split from melting. NOTE: I seriously doubt she would be allowed to do such a thing at school. But, of course, this didn't cross my daughter's mind.
I can't believe she didn't realize I was just kidding about sending a banana split in her lunch kit. Kids take things so literal. She looked at her sandwich and other lunch items like they were rocks b/4 zipping her lunch kit back up. Now I feel like crap.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

Bedtime Breakdown

source

So my daughter realized a movie which she has been wanting to see was coming on this evening on the Disney Channel at 8 p.m. and ending at 10 p.m. Her bedtime is 8:30. She jumps off the sofa, does a happy dance, and assumes the rest of the evening is planned. THAT is when I step in. I, using my nice Mommy voice, explain to her, "Honey, that movie comes on 30 minutes before your bedtime and isn't over until 10 which is too late. You're gonna have to watch it some other time." Cue the atomic bombs and screeches that make nails on a chalkboard sound like a lullaby. Saylor immediately goes into high-pitched whinny begging mode, followed by pouting mode, followed by negotiating mode, followed by tears. I go from nice Mommy voice to Supreme Ruler Voice. She argues, "But, I've NEVER seen it and I reallllllllllly wanna see it." Me, with an edge to my voice probably due to the fact that I am now talking through clenched teeth, "I know. But not tonight. It's a school night." She then proceeds to offer me her weekly allowance of $4 in exchange for staying up late. I stand firm and once again get labeled as the "Mean Mom". Thanks Disney channel for advertising movies to air on a school night just before bedtime. Is this where the magic begins?

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten
S.W.A.K.

{ Powder Room Ponders }

Inside the women's restroom earlier today: My daughter, the Queen of Fairies and Mermaids, pondered out loud, "Mom, I don't get those machines that say napkins (points to dispenser). Why would anyone pay 50 cents for napkins when you can get them free while washing your hands if you don't wanna use the hand dryer?"

 As we left the restroom, I could hear giggles from the other lady washing her hands.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.



The Perfect Mommy

While watching an episode of Wifeswap:

"Look, Mom! That mother is terrible! Her kids are terrible!"

"I'm watching it, Honey. Oh wow. That mom IS terrible."

"I know!!! I can't believe it! I am never gonna be a mom like that. When I grow up, I am gonna be the best Mom EVER!"

"I don't want you to grow up. But, I know you'll make a great Mommy one day."

"Yup. I am gonna be the best mom because I am gonna have a mixture of goodness and meanness just like you."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

{Einstein, Santana, & My 8 Year Old. Or Aging and Relativity}

Everything is a matter of perspective and like Einstein said, Everything is relative. Point of view is relative and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My 8 year old, while stretched out on the family room floor coloring fashion designs, saw Santana perform on American Music Awards this evening and said, "Oh My Gosh! Look at that guy playing the guitar. He is soooooo old. He is like 50 or something. He needs to be in a retirement home and NOT playing the guitar."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

Fairy Gifts

My daughter, the Queen of Fairies and Mermaids, left this little gift, which she made, for her little fairy friend named Faye. Faye and Saylor have been friends for a few years now. I have never seen Faye except maybe once out of the corner of my eye. My daughter, on the otherhand, is the lucky one when it comes to spotting Faye and other fairies.

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

Picasso vs. 8 Year Old

source

"Mom, What kind of world would you rather live in?---A world painted by Picasso or a world painted by an 8 year old like me?"

"A world painted by an eight year old, definitely!"

"Yeah, me too. That way there would be pretty things everywhere like unicorns."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

All Creatures Great and Small



"Look, Mom."

"I see it, Honey."

"Is it dead?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"That's so sad. I feel bad for it."

"I know. Me too."

"Do you think we should bury it?"

"No, the ocean will take care of it. When the tide comes up at night while you are sleeping, the wave will take it back to the sea where it is meant to go."

"Are you sure it's dead?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I am gonna say a prayer for it."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

A Mother's Heart

---My daughter's hand and a sky blue cotton candy heart---

"I love you."

"I love you more, Momma."

"No, I love you more."

"No, Mom. I LOVE YOU MORE!"

"Impossible because I love you more because I am the mother."

"la la la la la la la, I can't hear you and I love you more because you are my mother."

"But, I love you more because I have a mother's heart."

"I still love you more, Mom."

"One day you will say that I was right because after you grow up and go to college, get married, and have babies of your own, you will grow a mother's heart and then you will say, 'My mom was right, she really did love me more.' "

"(while rolling her eyes)Whatever, Mom. I'll still love you more."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

Yawns and Smiles

"Mom, Why does it have to be that all the bad things are contagious like germs and the flu?"

"I'm not sure, Honey. But, that's a good question."

"Well, I don't like that bad stuff is contagious. It should be the good things instead of gross yucky things like gross yucky germs and stuff."

"I guess that is what makes them extra gross."

"More good things should be contagious like Smiles and Yawns-those are contagious, you know?- especially yawns. Well, smiles are too. But, especially yawns. It should be more good things like that. Don't you think?"

"That would be very nice."

"Are you yawning, Mom? Me too! and Look!--We are both smiling! See, why can't more good things be contagious?"

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.

Tiny Bubbles

"Mom, How do they make bubbles?"

"I am not sure. That would be a neat thing to learn about though." (b/c I am one of those annoying moms who tries to make everything into a science experiment or learning project)

"I think I know."

"How?"

"I think each little bubble has helium in it like party balloons or like the kind you get free from a clown and they put the helium into the bottle of bath bubbles and when it mixes with water each bubble fills up with helium."

"Hmm, you think that is what happens? I think it is neat that you remembered the name, helium, and that it's used for balloons."

"Of course, I remembered, Mom."

Sealed with a Kiss, Kirsten

S.W.A.K.