Thursday, April 7, 2011

{ Mean Mean Mommy }

"Honey, Be sure to use mouthwash after you brush your teeth."

"But, Mommm! I can stand the new mouthwash!"

"I got you a kid one. Bubble Gum flavor. It's pink. Why don't you like it?"

"It's the grossest thing ever. It doesn't taste like bubble gum at all. It taste like rotten bubble gum. It's soooooo gross!!!" (Note: It does NOT taste like rotten bubble gum. It taste like bubble gum medicine. I tried it.)

"You need to use mouthwash. It's not a choice. You can either use the one I got you or you can use Mommy's and Daddy's. It doesn't have any alcohol in it, so it'll be fine for you to try." (The entire time I am telling her this, she is making dramatic fake gagging and dry heave motions with her throat, face, and whole body...and yet she refuses to try out for a role in the class play.)

(with slow moves, quivering and whimpering, as if she is about to get a whopper of a flu shot, she takes a sip of our mouthwash and swishes it around in her mouth and then violently spits it into the sink) "That is HORRIBLE!!!!! Agh! It burns my tongue! It burns! It burns!" (Like a vampire who just ate garlic)

"Look at it this way; If you keep using that one, then soon you will be able to enjoy the spicy salsa when we go to Mexican restaurants."

"That's not funny, Mom." (She starts giggling at my salsa/mouthwash correlation, then stops, and goes back to rolling her eyes to demonstrate just how un-funny I am)

"Okay, I will go look for a milder one for kids. I will check the organic store and see what I find. I'll either go sometime this week or next week. BUT, until then, you'll just have to use the bubble gum mouthwash even if you don't like the way it tastes." (She sulks and makes more fake gagging noises)

----- Fast forward a few hours to when my husband gets home from work and walks in the door---- with a PLEASE SAVE ME NOW tone she says,  "Guess what, Daddy? Mom said she is going to make me use the gross mouthwash forrrreverrrr." 

Sealed with a minty fresh Kiss, Kirsten